Macworld Predictions: What's in the Air?

So, Apple put up a banner in Moscone Center with the line: Something in the Air. In a refreshing blast of sanity, Macworld is still only number six on a Google search of the phrase (as of now, anyway). It's still beat out by an Australian soap opera and songs by Thunderclap Newman and Tom Petty.

Meanwhile, the blogosphere is buzzing with speculation about Wi-Max... really, really light PowerBooks... untethered services and movie downloads for Macs, iPods, and iPhones, and AppleTV.

Maybe. But I'm betting on one of these:

1. Steve Jobs will not appear in person onstage for the Keynote, but will webcast live from overhead as he buzzes San Francisco in the Gulfstream V that the Apple Board of Directors gave him in 2000.

2. Apple will finally offer an aerosole version of Steve Jobs's legendary "Reality Distortion Field." Spray it and get people to believe anything and buy everything.

3. Apple is going to bring us the great Tesla promise of electrical power transmitted through the air. We'll never again have to change or recharge a battery in any remote, phone, camera, toy, or iPod.

4. Apple will announce a strategic alliance with Wham-O to deliver MacBooks shaped like Frisbees. Steve will launch 50 of them out into the keynote audience. One will be caught by a German Shepherd.

5. Steve will have a vegan meal served to folks waiting to get into the keynote which will later induce the entire audience to re-enact the campfire scene from Blazing Saddles.

Mickeleh's Take: In the savviest co-branding stunt since he brought the iTunes store to Starbucks, Apple will join with Cirque du Soleil to replace all the Mac Geniuses with flying trapeze artists who will offer service and support while dangling upside down.

(Tags:Steve Jobs, Macworld, Apple, keynote)

Loren on the Plight of the iPhone unLocker

Our story so far: Apple releases the iPhone. It only works with AT&T in the USA. Some folks hack it to unlock it for use with any mobile carrier (losing some features in the process, but gaining freedom). Apple discovers that some of these hacks "cause irreparable damage to the iPhone's software, which will likely result in the modified iPhone becoming permanently inoperable" after the next software update. Oops.

Loren Feldman, of 1938 Media, master of empathy, commiserates with the brave souls that unlocked their iPhones.



Mickeleh's Take: Look on the bright side: you still get your $100 store credit.

(Tags:iPhone, , unlocked iPhone , Apple, 1938 Media, , Loren Feldman, funny, humor)